Question: What did I learn about myself that was significant re: my strengths, weaknesses, fears, fears overcome, etc.?
Answer: I am answering this question based on my experience in my Beginner Aerials A class, January 4th – February 8th. The main thing that I learned was that I was no longer strong. Where had all my strength and flexibility from years of gymnastics, field hockey, track and crew gone? It was just about a year since the last time that I had rowed in a boat, but I didn’t realize that my strength and flexibility would decay so quickly. My abs were still strong, but I no longer had the “ridge”. I also realized that I had a lingering fear of heights. Simple things like climbing to the top of the rope scared me. My apparent lack of strength combined with not used to being that high off the ground, definitely kept me nervous. But I also realized that I have this great inner strength. I don’t measure my success by what pant size I wear or my weight, because that it all relative. I measure my success in how well I perform and how much of my own body weight I can lift. Even if things are looking as if I might have to quit, I am determined to work harder until I can accomplish my goals. I know that if I continue doing pushups, pull-ups, tuck-ups, and sit-ups that I will get stronger. I know that if I make the effort to stretch everyday, I will get more flexible. I know that if I continue to climb that rope, and set small goals like making it one step higher, that eventually, I will reach the top. I know that is how I can overcome my deficiencies.
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Do you find yourself less scared when you are on the trapeze or ring versus the corde lisse or aerial silk? I ask because it seems as if these are more substantial to hold on to and no quite as high. When you are attempting to get higher up than previous times, do you give yourself positive reinforcement continuously as you are doing the ascent or just at the very beginning? Do you need to give yourself encouragement to decend too; or is it shear joy knowing that you just achieved the goal to go up higher and you get down without realizing how high off of the ground you are at that point?---{>, Mom
ReplyDeleteGreat question Mom. Each is very different. When I first began on the Aerial Silks, I was too excited to realize how nervous I was. On the Corde Lisse however, I probably dreaded the experience the entire time because it was painful and I was not used to being that high. As for the trapeze, I felt pretty secure, but I did get a little dizzy the first time I stood up or did a somersault up there. The hoop was not scary so much as it was hard to control.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was climbing, you were right in guessing that I gave myself positive reinforcement. I would tell myself just one climb higher. I knew that I had done a good job of climbing if I reached the current of air conditioning. On the descent, my arms were usually tired from the ascent, so I did have to remind myself that I would be down at the bottom very soon if I could just hold on a little longer. I am proud to say that I never fell off (knock on wood), and that every time I climbed, I made it a little bit higher. In fact, tonight, I slapped my hand on the metal I beam on the ceiling, above the fabric rigging. Just goes to show that pushing yourself to new heights even when you are scared really can pay off.
It's interesting to observe how well you know yourself, and the skills that you have developed to manage your emotions. We all have some measure of self-doubt. Success is in managing and sublimating that self-doubt. How will you define success as you move through your classes?
ReplyDeleteJust because I have learned the basics does not by any stretch mean that I have perfected them or that my success on those moves will predict my success on the more difficult ones. I will define it by how well I am performing. If my legs are straight, my toes pointed, and my back appropriately arched. Can I gather enough momentum to do a move? Can I overcome my fear of the iminant pain? Can I feel comfortable doing the new moves? That is how I will judge myself as I continue to improve.
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